Dawn's Darkest Hours
by Ume Chikuzan
Summary: It is at dawn’s darkest hour that all that might go right will go right. . . and all that can go wrong will go wrong. SaixKaede
1. 1 Musings

Title: Dawn's Darkest Hour

Author: Ume Chikuzan

Rating: PG

Pairing: Sai/Kaede

Summary: It is at dawn's darkest hour that all that might go right will go right. . . and all that can go wrong will go wrong.

Disclaimer: I don't own Angelic Layer. Angelic Layer belongs to CLAMP, bless their little hearts. May they spend the rest of their days making money off of Angelic Layer and all of their forthcoming mangas.

A/N: Warning, I'm working off of a badly subbed version of the show, so if my wording is way off, blame it on that ^.^ I apologize also if this is convoluted - I'm currently reading a trilogy where all the characters speak in an old-fashioned way (read: like knights and such), so I'm a tad bit under the influence at the moment.

Feedback: Umm, I haven't written fan fiction in a while, let alone anime fanfic, so I'm a tad bit rusty. Please, be gentle.

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Part 1 - Musings

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I'm pretty sure I know when _it_ happened.

_It_ had been long in the making. Creeping towards the border each day, sidling along and darting from dark corner to shadowed nook. Hoping to escape my attention. In a way, I knew it was happening, but decided to just ignore _it_ - maybe _it_ would just go away.

But _it_ never did go away, although sometimes it would stop it's forward progress for weeks, even months at a time. And I would think, ÔThank god, maybe _it_ has decided to give up and move on. Maybe _it_ will find something better, something more attainable.' But then _it_ would appear again, and I would realize that it had spent _its_ time gathering strength to make a leap forward.

Lin had always said that someday I would have to succumb to _it_. _It_ hadn't been around then, only some of _its_ distant relatives. But she knew, as only a sister could, that when _it_ finally did appear I would fight _it_ to the bitter end.

After Lin died, I had sworn to never let any form of _it_ do to me what losing her had. I locked myself away in a chest of ice, and I had a guardian for the lock - my angel, Shirahime. Lin's creation, the White Princess. She became my life, and thus I never had to fear that _it_ would rear _its_ head and rip me to shreds.

And then she appeared. With a white angel of her own, she sat in her desk beside mine, and it was as if she had just come into existence at that moment. She smiled that famous smile of hers, and without any warning the chest of ice cracked.

I tried avoiding her at first. She wasn't anybody, she didn't exist for me. I buried myself in my angel even more, frantically trying to repair the damage she had done. I thought to myself that surely she would go away then, fade back into obscurity.

She didn't. She persisted, and in the end I gave in to her warmth. The ice cracked, and chunks fell off. And when she smiled at me, I was hard pressed to not smile back.

The first time I had seen her duel was when _it_ first showed up.

She was so graceful, so at peace in this world of violence. She disarmed her opponent with her affable charm, and her angel destroyed the challenger with an ease belied by her aura of gentleness. And as her adversary stammered her congratulations, she looked at me with such happiness in her sage eyes that my breath hitched and I felt faint.

_It_ had a nail in, and was proceeding to break my shell apart.

But I never really admitted _it_ was there until that day. I had lost before, and I knew I would lose again, but at that moment, I couldn't help but be astonished. I prided myself on my ability to find the weakness and strengths of my opponents, and yet here I had missed the obvious - this tiny half-child, this girl who had made her way through the ranks of the chosen of Angelic Layer, was possessed of a singular ability - the ability to learn her own strengths when the pressure was highest. And so I had underestimated my rival, and I was beaten.

I walked down that empty hall, staring at my White Princess as I listened to the cheers behind me. And when I looked up, she was standing there.

"Kaede," I said, surprised. I had expected her to be in the stands. I never expected her to be next to me. But one look at her and I knew that she really wouldn't have been anywhere else.

I walked up to her, pausing by her side. I could feel the heat from her body emanating outwards, warming me as she always had. Always melting me. "I lost," I said, with a small smile on my face.

"But I sense that you're happy," she said, her own lips twitching upwards. She was right, of course - she somehow always knew how I felt. It did not always work both ways. She was an enigma to me sometimes.

"I often wondered why you're always smiling, Kaede," I said, speaking to her as I would never speak to anyone else. Openly, honestly, without any barriers. "I don't know when I found out, but you are actually very strong, Kaede." I felt peaceful now, with her by me.

"It isn't that," she said suddenly. "There's a secret." Her voice had thickened slightly, causing me to start. I had not expected the emotion in her voice.

"When you cry, you just cry as you can.

It was at that moment that _it_ shattered the ice.

It was at that moment that I knew I loved her.

tbc


	2. 2 Hesitations

Title: Dawn's Darkest Hour (2/4)

Author: Ume Chikuzan

See Part 1 for disclaimers

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Part 2 - Hesitations

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I scratched idly at my desk with part of my pen, digging a groove into it as the teacher droned on in the background. I knew I should be paying attention, but I couldn't. My mind was elsewhere today. A glance at the scratches on my desk said where - I had carved Kaede's name into it.

"Jounouchi Sai," Sakuyono-sensei snapped, glaring at me. "Jounouchi-san, it might be considered beneficial if you paid attention to today's lesson, as I am currently going over what will be on the final.

"Gomen-ne," I said, firmly laying my pencil down and turning my mind back to school. My father, a commander in the Japanese army, had insisted I attend a military academy* for my high school years, and even though I had already attended for over a year I was still not used to how strict they were here.

I still hadn't completely forgiven him for it. I had wanted to go to Yokohama Futaba High School** along with Kaede and most of my other classmates from Ohtori Junior High**, despite the fact that I had few friends among them. But he had insisted, and I had no say in the matter. It still hurt that I couldn't see Kaede every day like I wished.

The only good thing, as far as I could tell, was that the students here, though astute, knew how to keep their mouths shut. I knew some of them guessed how I felt - I had left enough carvings to betray me - but as of yet there had been no mention of a source in any of the tabloids from the academy.

The bell rang then, and with a sigh of relief I stood. It was the final bell, and I had plans with Kaede to go to the local Piffle Princess and practice for an hour or so. I quickly packed up my homework and the textbooks I would need and exited the door.

To my surprise, she was waiting for me outside the school. She had sat on the grass underneath a tree, leaning back. Her eyes were closed, and as I watched a small breeze stirred her hair slightly, and she smiled. My heart stopped, and I couldn't breathe. I stood there, in awe of what I saw - she seemed a wood sprite, so at home was she, so down to earth.

It took me a moment to register the fact that she had opened her eyes and was looking at me. "Sai-san," she said, and stood up. She dusted the back of her skirt off and came forward. A small frown graced her features as she looked up at me. "Are you alright? Sai-san is looking very pale," she added, worry tingeing her voice.

I swallowed, trying to force the lump in my throat to lessen in size. "I didn't expect you to be here, Kaede," I managed to get out in what I hoped was my usual cool tone. It sounded fine to my ears, but with all the blood rushing through them I couldn't be certain.

"Is it a bad thing that I came?" she asked, now amused with me. "If I had known that Sai-san would react this way, I would have stayed away." Her green eyes glittered humorously, and she was smiling.

I shook my head. "No, it's not that," I replied, and started to walk towards the academy's gate. "I've just had a strange day, is all. I'm glad you came, Kaede." I smiled down at her as she walked beside me, the smile only she ever got to see. "Already my day is better.

Kaede's smile grew bigger, becoming the smile that had won the hearts of Angelic Layer fans everywhere. "I'm glad. It feels good when Sai-san is happy.

I stopped then. She continued on for a few paces before she realized that I was no longer with her, and she turned to look at me. "Sai-san?" she asked, puzzled at my behavior. "Are you sure everything is alright?

"Do you really mean that?" I asked then, unable to resist. Did I really affect her that much? Why? Why would I affect her so?

She smiled again. "Of course. Sai-san is my best friend, how you feel is important to me.

"How Kaede feels is very important to me too," I said, putting as much feeling into the words as I was capable of. I stood there, frozen, wondering how she would react to my words.

"Then I'm you're best friend too?" she asked me, her gaze wide and innocent.

I broke, just a little. It hurt. "Yes," I whispered. "Kaede is my best friend.

She smiled, and we walked on.

tbc

*I am of the opinion that Kaede and Sai go to different high schools, considering that they wear different uniforms and all. Also, in my opinion Sai's uniform is very utilitarian, and the design has led me to believe she attends a military academy. Of course, it's just my own humble opinion, but you can understand my point, can't you? ^.^

**Both Yokohama Futaba High School and Ohtori Junior High are located in Yokohama, of the Kanagawa Prefecture, which is where the anime states both Sai and Kaede come from. Furthermore, Ohtori Junior High is located near Sankei-en Garden, which has many cherry blossom and Japanese plum blossom trees (thinking, of course, of the flashbacks Kaede has showing Sai looking out the window of their junior high at pink blossoms).

And yes, I did do my research ^.^


	3. 3 Confessions

Title: Dawn's Darkest Hour

Author: Ume Chikuzan

See Part 1 for disclaimers

(Just wanna say thanks for those of you who reviewed so far! You guys rock!)

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Part 3 - Confessions

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_Left, right, left, left, right, jump, sidle, dip, spin. Left, right, left, left, right, jump, sidle, dip spin._ I counted the steps mentally as I watched Buranshe move to the music, keeping the beat running through my head. The graceful angel's timing was flawless as she danced about the layer, flowing through the air like the restraints of gravity didn't affect her.

I took my eyes off of the angel to watch Kaede. She was humming to the music, tapping her finger against her seat. Her focus was completely on her angel. I couldn't tear my eyes away from her, the fierceness that only I could see so blinding in its beauty.

The song ended, and Kaede took off the headpiece. She shook out her hair and turned to look at me. "Sai-san, what did you think?" 

It took me a moment to reply. "Flawless as usual, Kaede. You're flair for dancing naturally passes to Buranshe when you practice." 

She smiled, pleased. "Oh, I'm not that good of a dancer," she murmured, a slight blush reaching her cheeks.

I shook my head. "Don't be modest, Kaede. You've been taking dance since you were seven. I've seen you - it's beautiful when you dance." 

"Sai-san doesn't usually flatter me so," she replied, looking up at me. "You dance very well yourself." 

I couldn't tell if I was blushing or not, but it was a close call. "Only with you," I said, averting my gaze, finding something very interesting about the way the Layer glowed.

Last year, Kaede had asked me to accompany her to her school dance. I had protested at first, but she had told me she didn't feel comfortable going with anyone else, but she had to make an appearance - her father had insisted she do more school activities and, when he'd heard of the dance, had made extra effort to convince her to go. We'd only danced once while there, and we'd only stayed for an hour, but it was something I had never forgotten.

"It's your turn," Kaede said, motioning for me to take her vacated seat. I did, putting on the headpiece. I placed Shirahime on the Layer, and watched as Kaede went to start the music again.

The first strains of Clair de Lune by Debussy reached my ears, and I started to move Shirahime. But everything seemed off, and for some reason her timing was off.

"Sai-san?" Kaede said in a worried tune, pausing the music. "Is everything all right?" 

I could hear my heart thudding in my ears. "No," I replied softly. "I'm not." 

"What is it? What's wrong, Sai-san?" She leaned towards me, her dark green eyes staring at me, trying to look through me. I couldn't help but turn red then.

"Kaede," I said suddenly. I felt as if a lightening bolt had hit me. This was it. This was my only chance. "Please put Buranshe on the Layer." 

Kaede frowned. "I don't understand, Sai-san. I don't..." she stumbled over her words. "I don't want to fight you now," she managed to get out, looking down.

"Please," I said, meeting her eyes. "Please, Kaede." 

Slowly, she went across the Layer and sat. She placed the headpiece on and put Buranshe back on the Layer.

"Sai-san," she said, and I could hear the nervousness in her voice.

I stood and walked over to the CD player. I started the piece over again.

Shirahime opened her eyes. Confidently, gracefully, she walked towards Buranshe, her bells jingling slightly as she went. Buranshe was standing half at guard, unsure of what was happening.

I heard Kaede gasp as Shirahime got down on one knee, head bent to Buranshe. She stood up then, and gathered the small white angel in her arms. Slowly, they began to dance together.

I couldn't bear to look at Kaede. I felt like I was on fire, so foolish and so brash a move I was making. But I had to, I couldn't do otherwise. I could only dance with her, never without.

Buranshe seemed so small in Shirahime's arms as they danced. I knew that Shirahime only had to tighten her grasp, and she could seriously injure the other angel. But this wasn't a battle, and it seemed so right to see them together.

Slowly the music ended, and I had Shirahime step back, step away from the small angel. She jumped out of the layer and I caught her in my hand. I took off my headpiece and stood, studying the creature made of love and metal in my hand. She seemed so fragile at that moment, as if she could shatter at the smallest word.

"Sai-san..." 

I looked up to see Kaede had come around the Layer to stand by me. I couldn't understand the look in her eyes.

"I can only dance well with you," I finally said. I looked down at Shirahime again. "I only want to dance with you." The words barely made it out of my mouth, and for a long moment I didn't even know if I had said them. But when I looked up again, I knew that I had, and I knew that she understood what I meant.

"Forget it." I stood up then, refusing to look at her again. "Forget I said anything." I don't know what it was I saw in her face, but it hurt, because I knew that no matter what things couldn't go back to the way they had been. With just seven words I had ruined everything.

I could feel the tears as I started to go.

"Sai-san!" Kaede called, and she reached out and grabbed my hand. "No!" 

I winced. "No?" I whispered back to her, refusing to meet her eyes. I wanted to rip my hand away from her, but I couldn't. I craved the contact.

"Don't go," she said. "I only ever want to dance with you too." And before I could say anything, she had reached forward and wrapped her arms around me. "Sai-san, only with you." 

And, despite being several inches taller than her, despite my reputation for being emotionless, I let her cradle me in her arms while I broke down and cried.

tbc


End file.
